i often wonder

i often wonder
what you see
through my eyes
looking into your own

i wonder
if my spirit
speaks
through my eyes
mouth
lips
hands
voice

my whines and cries

the way my hips
dance
from side to side
and how my palms
rest
ever so gently
upon my
skin

for you

i wonder
how it makes you feel
viewing me
in all of my
divine purity

i wonder
if it is the same feeling
when cool sweet breeze
brushes against your face
on a day, sweltering
or when rain
falls
tip tapping
gently
upon your tired brow

drop by sacred drop

or if it is like jumping
head first
into a waterfall
exciting and scary
simultaneous
cleansing your soul
making you feel

so utterly alive

or it may be
like witnessing a dream
while awake
unbridled and aware
fully conscious
of your surroundings

my only hope
is that what you witness
touches your body
as well as your mind

and that what you see
through my eyes
looking into your own

touches

your heart


© Susan Marie

Jharna झरना [Waterfall]

On Audio HERE

i watched you sleep

like angels
birthed
from the golden eyes
of heaven

i watched you sleep
as the rain
fell
peaceful and calming
to me

my soul
watched you sleep
and your spirit,
spoke

and i watched you sleep
as rivers raged
and oceans roared
and Mother Nature quaked and came
then bellowed
from the very depths
of the crusts of caves

that this time is precious

like diamonds buried deep within the snow
and sand
as it falls from the palm of one's hand
and every solitary tear
never wasted in vain

like every smile

a song of hope

and i watched you sleep
like angels
birthed
from the golden eyes
of heaven

© Susan Marie

[Jharna means "waterfall" in Hindi]

She Rose

she rose

again

like ashes imprinted
on each foot raised
on the pads of aboriginals
before her

she rose
like the sun does daily
like the moon when she is full
like the coming of the fresh pure breath
of summer

she rose
like the wind
whipping leaves
autumnal
dashing and dangling the smell of Earth into the air

October
she rose

again
like the water
rising
and the ice princess
lifted
she rose
like an altar
looming before her
as a chalice is lifted
hands shaking
solemn
holding to her lips
pursed

she rose that cup
poisons of ages
of murder
and she rose
above the fires
the stakes
the burning pit
the executioners block
she rose
like spirit
above it all
above those beneath her

she rose
like a bird

taking flight
she rose

and the clouds
embraced her

gently.

© Susan Marie

Valhalla

 ON AUDIO HERE

 photo © Ronald Sorrento, Vietnam Vet, a peace sign made from m-79 high explosive grenade rounds

We are building roads to roads
that build roads to
nowhere

people are at the same time
sane and insane

are you listening
to the wind
as she whispers
when dawn drags her belly
pregnant and full
across the purpling skyline
as the sun
places her hand
ever so warmly
upon the nape of your neck

and the sea
bellows
stop
stop
stop
just stop and listen

no
do not even try
just be

good
follows
good follows
nature and trees
and all that is
Earth and dirt
and sand
and you and me

you
see
it is not easy
to
simply
be

left to right
to
center

as the Earth bellows
bombs
like airstrikes
on the innocent
and we keep voting
and protesting
and dying while alive
living in a
free state of
mind controlled
flight

where do I turn
when the world has gone mad
and everything is on a
merry
go round
and
rounds
of bullets fly
from lips, pursed
in hate
and anger
rising
like Valhalla

and the Valkyries scream like
eagles scrying

thunder

We are building roads to roads
that build roads to

nowhere

© Susan Marie

a thousand words

On audio HERE

 

i can write
one million poems
describing
the sweet breath
of breeze
like peaches in summertime
how they cool your brow and palette
on a day
that is sweltering,
simultaneous

or how the speech
of our forefathers
can never suffice
to explain the thoughts
that explode inside my brain
like atoms, splitting
supernovas in space
constellations ablaze
neurons sounding
and resounding
across synapses
like trapeze artists
on tripwires

and I can write
of the speech of animals
foreign to the human sense of sound
and how only they comprehend,
truly,
what they say
to one another

and I can even write of God and the heavens
the beauty of the skies at dawn and sunset
colors yet undiscovered
painted
for us all,
daily

i can write of it all
a thousand words
describing everything

yet not one word
or poem
can ever compare
to the softness of your gaze
like the canvas of the morning tide
or your silent roar
not unlike that of the mighty lion
or precisely how your spirit connects
to my very own

i can write of it all
mere words
i can write
one million poems

and not one can ever truly describe

you

but i can try


© Susan Marie

and the sky, she cries thunder

On Audio here

i've been thrown away
again

do you realize i told you
this would happen

you smiled and laughed
said there's no possible way
as you stared at me,
staring at you,
lovingly

and you liked that

and i smiled back
knowing the truth
yet to pass

my chest
full
my heart
pounding
trying not to

cry

i smiled

because you needed me to be strong
and i was a pillar
like now
spitting out bits of blood and bone meal marrow
seeping
from the tips of fingers
that writes words
beautiful
like you

but you threw me away
like some second hand thrift shop used shoes
human
being
with
a
heart

and you are not the first
you are one of many

and it has taken me a long time
to accept this absurd existence
i seem to keep choosing for myself

for it is not your fault
nor mine

but you threw me away

Dear God, there must be some greater good
to the muttering thoughts
that do not belong to me
they tell the truth
i push them away
in denial
that i am
thrown
away
again

i kneel under this dank dark grey winter skyline
hovering upon the Eastern shore
palms raised
lined, in supplication
oh, these hands of mine
writing words such as this
to deaf ears
to blind eyes
to uncaring hearts
to the bleeding mouths of those who suffer

but this is not the first time
nor the last

for i rise
like the sun
and rise
like constellations
and rise
like mountains echoing time
after time
that the sky
is
crying
thunder
again

i rise
because
i am love
i rise
because
i am free
i rise
because i am
different

you see
you once saw
like the others
we are
exactly the same
yet different
you see
you do not
see
we are
the same
yet different
because i

have
risen



© Susan Marie

you are like the sun, shining

On audio here

you are like the sun
shining
on a day
grey
bleak and dank

like when the cold rain
settles deep within your
bones
and city smog clogs your lungs

you are like the
sun shining on such days
while driving

a bird flutters by
with the flowers budding through
springtime's forever battle
with time

and you
the sun
shining

your energy is
Mother - Father nature
combined

and the clouds
gather in cirrus wonder
trying to block you
from reaching the
Earth

but
you
are
shining

like a stone tossed and turned
flipped over three times
skipped across a pond
ending on the bank of a river
turned upward
neck craned
feet planted
in dirt and silt
a part of history
of time long past
yet here and now
you are
the sun

shining
brightly

like
gold


© Susan Marie

I Call You Self

 On Audio HERE

I call you self

mirrored in an iris
solitary drops
of tears
the dew of morning, fresh
gracing petals
pristine and magnificent

I call you self
standing in baptism
in blessing
naked in purity
no weights nor burdens
as the wind
your voice
speaks volumes of ages
of antiquated species

I call you self
alive in the turbine
the hurricane
the tsunami
the earthquake
the deep rich soil
beneath footpads
in other worlds
times and lives

I call you self
the fresh breeze
that kisses my cheeks
as my head tilts upward
towards skies of cerulean

I call you self
my beloved
for I love self
and self is love
and all of this

existing

is divine
as a dream
as no sleep
as the deep black dark
velvet coat of night
as the rich morning burst
like a palette of desire
the sun
shines
for you, my self

I call you self
for you are alive
and all of this
for you
for the universe
is self
the moons, planets, stars
are an extension
of your heart

the leaves of the trees are your limbs, love
your spirit is self

in this world, this great expanse
this book of knowing
and not knowing
being and not being
laughing and crying
loving and letting go

in this immense skyscrape

you
are
self

do not discount your being
you may be but one feather
on the tip of the wing
of an angels flight
but you are golden
self

so be happy
be happy self

for you are self
and this is what I call you

for I am you
self
my beloved mine

I belong to only you
and my heart whispers poetry
in this hollow place
this beauteous world
this troubled time

come, come and smile, self
you were born with wings
that beat as thunder
with the volcanic rumbling
of Mother
Father
Earth

simultaneous

self
my love
beloved self

I call you self

© Susan Marie

Miss Mother Nature

On Audio Here 

my head
hurts 

like wounds caused
by gunshots

a bullet forced
by physics
through a barrel
thin
as the membranes
that separate
my temporal lobes
as they bulge
outward
waiting to explode
volcanic
thunder

like Mt St Helen
Vesuvius
a most fiery explosion
unrequited

Dear Lord,
my hands are lined
palms
rusted with blood
not my own
but the souls of others

and I have risen them
upward
towards you
in supplication

yet now, I wish to rest
knowing
that the world is on fire
like my brain
slowly, melting


bear my melodies and songs
they are my cries
disguised as madness
as angels in choir

do you hear my voice?

it whispers secrets
of those before me 
a most heartsick feeling
and my spirit is reeling
from simply 
existing
where I 
do 
not 
belong

and in the middle I stand
on tiptoes
as a child
trying my best
to peek over the ledge
without
falling

and my neck cranes
to the farthest borders
to the great continents
and I have sunk my teeth
much too deep
into the skin of humanity

and I bite
yet am starved
standing at the abyss
needing your hand
and the tip of the wing
of an angel

so I can breathe 

again.


© Susan Marie 

 

Such Things These Eyes They Wish To See

 ON AUDIO HERE

                                             "Madinah Sunset" by Qalb Par Nazar



i wish upon embers
falling from my eyes
not tears
but starshine
blazing and glorious
like the sunset over Makkah

i wish i can take flight
like Iqbal's eagle
soaring and endless
searching for its place
insane
yet, oh 
so divine

and i wish that my gaze
may one day fall
upon the both of you
smiling 
at me

as Muhammad must have smiled
at Khadija
a love so rare 

not quite romantic
unconditional 

as the love i have for you
simultaneous 

like blood brothers 
mine

eternal.


- Susan Marie 2013 


[last poem of the year, for my two brothers]